on the other hand, i'm kinda worried about hendra too.. although i try not to think of it too much, de thoughts just keep comin. you see, before i was with him, he was seein this other gurl, CT (which i think stands for Celaka Tonggang-terbalik). and he see her just because i didn't wanna be with him before. not because he loves her whatsoever. somehow i see it like she's just a spare tyre lah.. anyway, this CT really loves him now. hendra said that she noes bout me, but she doesn't noe bout US. and it seems to me that hendra is draggin this matter of not tellin her da truth. it's kinda making me suspicious. is it stoopid or is it stoopid huh? haiz.. no doubt i am sad, scared, insecure, disappointed and a lil hurt. but i'm puttin all that aside just for him. even when he told me that he still feels insecure wit me and needs that f**kin CT to fall back on.. gosh! i was cool when he said that right in my face while holdin my hand somemore. but only God noes what i was feelin inside. to be honest, i was shattered by his words, by what he's doin. and it takes me alot alot of courage to swallow it all and continue this journey with him. but then again. i hope he just won't take my kindness as a weakness. coz all my experiences and failures in relationships had just made me stronger. my patience has a limit too.. and i will NOT give face to those who crossed de line. includin that muthafcukin CT (de real MKPL). i'm so so SOoOOo pissed la eh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hendra if you're readin this, remember you screwed up once, twice and so don't let there be a third time.

so gurls.. lets watch x-men 3 tomorrow!

::triple choc cookie::

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